I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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