Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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