this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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