Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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