she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
