you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
