Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
