the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize