He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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