I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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