like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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