Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
