i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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