another moral hangover. fuck.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
