It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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