I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
