clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize