actually, I'm a sock model
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
