You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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