Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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