she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
