you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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