There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
