I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize