I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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