"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
