apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
