Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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