Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
