one might say we're banned from that church
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
