Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
