Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
