is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
