Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
