i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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