yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize