my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
