What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
