i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
