I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
