I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
