i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
