I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
