remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize