Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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