I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
