Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
