Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This house was built for laser tag.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
