You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
