I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
