dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
