currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she told me i tasted like america
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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