Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
