oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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