i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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