Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
